The Danish Language


Disclaimer: this is meant a bit ironic and as a joke. I mean no ofene or disrespect, and I really like the Danish language.

Ah, yes, the Danish language. I feel like this is a matter that needs to be discussed. You see, for us Norwegians reading the Danish Language is like reading Norwegian letters from the 1800’s, but when they open their mouth and speak it’s just.. how can I describe it.. they have a potato in their mouth…

I’m not saying this to be mean, but when I was a kid we used to try to take a small potato in the back of our mouth and then pretending to talk Danish. This is common knowledge for everyone, perhaps except the Danes themselves. Because if they knew, one would think they would change their speaking habits. But no, they keep saying “røget ørred fra Rødovre” or as they would pronounce it: “Rø rørø fø rørørø”.

Please Danes, don’t you see that this reflects badly on the rest of us in Scandinavia. With your counting in snes and when I, out of habit say “good bye” (hade bra) to the guy behind the counter in the store, he replies “thanks..umh.. likewise”. You don’t understand what I mean if I don’t use your type of good bye. And people, the Danish way to say good bye translate directly to “hi hi”. Double negative is positive or something? What?

You can’t even understand yourself. Danish media announced that films spoken in Danish will be subtitled with Danish text because Danish actors mumbles too much. If you don’t understand what I mean watch this Norwegian sketch on the subject.

Although, I have heard that there is some advantages with this “special” language. As my friend Jorg told me: “According to legend, in Denmark during World War II, border guards would screen homecoming Danes by making them say aloud the name of the Danish dessert rødgrød med fløde—berry pudding with cream. (To approximate the sound of these words, say them while gargling and whistling.) Apparently, even the craftiest Danish-seeming German infiltrator could not pass this simple test. The Danish ear recognized its own.”

Fortunately, to my grandmothers disapproval, I am taking a Danish course in January and perhaps then I will see the beauty of your language, sweet Danes.

Ps. Sorry if you got kränkt.



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