Nationalism!

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Not in a bad way!

 

The Norwegian constitution day was 17th of may, which all Scandinavians probably know. But if you’re not Danish, do you know when Denmark has their constitution day? Me neither.

Two years ago, when me and Allan first started dating, I visited him in the start of June. He had a long weekend so i traveled from Oslo to see him. As we were walking to the train station I noticed that the busses where flagging (as they often do) and I asked him “why do the busses flag today?” He answered in a casual way, “oh, it’s Denmark’s constitution day”. Wait what? How can this pass by almost unnoticed? You have to understand that where I come from this day isn’t something that just flies by. No, in Norway you can’t miss 17th of may even if you wanted to.

This is roughly how 17th goes down:
– Wake up a little too early (especially if you have been celebrating the day before as well)
– Put on your national costume, bunad, and look adorkable.
– Either watch your local school’s parade with a banner for each grade or travel to the city center and watch the bigass parade with schools from all over Oslo, accompanied by marching bands and the King’s garde.
– Go home to your family and eat the biggest brunch this side of summer.
– If you have children, go to your local school for waffles and games.
– If you are a young adult or a high school graduate (also called “russ”) party your ass off.

 

There is a few variations to this recipe, but most Norwegians do it this way.

Every 5th of June I’ve been to Copenhagen, I’ve not seen a single parade. Not even a speech. I have heard rumours that they exist, but I’ve also heard rumours that wizards are real, but where’s my fucking wand?

The obvious reason for the big differences in celebration is that Norway is a quite young country. Sweden and Denmark have tossed us back and forth between them like the little brother we are, and after we finally got our constitution in 1814, we have been occupied one more time.
I think another reason why we have so different relation to our national costumes is that the Danish is kind of, umh, interesting? I won’t say ugly, but I won’t say flattering either. I’m just sayin’

  Danish national costume

 I love that we can out on our wierd 1800’s farmers cosplay once a year and celebrate that we have the right to fuck up our own country. Hurra!

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Part of the System

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I don’t have a job.

I had a job, but not anymore and thats old new.

I am not studying.

I was studying, but not anymore and that is also old new.

I live in the welfare state of Denmark and since i am under 25 with no work or studies I am entiteled to a whole lo of care. What I get is called “kontantstøtte”. It is a weekly sum given to people who in some way cannot work or study. To get this payment you have to attend a program. It is an exellent program called CBK, center for bridge-building and competance and is supposed to build a bridge between you and you fruture education. But it is also very generalized and it seems like thay want everyone to fit in to boxes. I think it works most of the time.

For me this arrangments are awful. I should never hav been in this particular system to begin with. I should have some kind of disability pension or “uføretryg”.

Because I am sick.

I have not yet found a psycologist who have manage to give me the therapy that I have needed so I do not have a concrete diagnose. I am working on that. I have a nice soup of anxiety, posttraumatic stress and depression. Thats atleast the best i can describe it whithout taking three hours of your life.

The system doesen’t like people like me. We are not concrete and hard to understand. Sometimes I wish I hade some curable disease or a lot of broken bones instead. Then i at least would have got the care and support that I need from this beautiful welfare system of ours…

I should have tha care of someone who just hasn’t figured out life or flunked in school. i should get the same support as someone with a broken back or a disease. I’m not lazy or uncertan, I am sick.

This is an awful system for me. It always assumes the worst and they are very harsh. Every time i get a mail from them saying I did something wrong, which I have gotten a lot of, I get panic attacks, even though I did nothing wrong and someone just made a mistake. You see, they do that a lot, forget to wirte down I attended or fail to inform that I was excused from a class. It’s making me mad and it’s making me worse.

The reason i don’t have disability support is beacuse that is a program that is imposible to get in to. Which is ironic because the people who needs this supports are, you know, sick and therefore hasn’t got tha same energy and capacity to convince strickt caseworkers that you need this help. “But what if you’re just piggybacking and trying to trick us?” Goddamnit.

I really thought that the system was made to take care of me, but it is making me sicker than i have been in a long time. I don’t dare to go to the classes anymore and I’m more and more isolated. I’m so sick and tired of the “welfare”system and they can’t even manage to give me therapy, that i have been waiting for for over four years…

middle finger animated GIF

The Danish Language

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Disclaimer: this is meant a bit ironic and as a joke. I mean no ofene or disrespect, and I really like the Danish language.

Ah, yes, the Danish language. I feel like this is a matter that needs to be discussed. You see, for us Norwegians reading the Danish Language is like reading Norwegian letters from the 1800’s, but when they open their mouth and speak it’s just.. how can I describe it.. they have a potato in their mouth…

I’m not saying this to be mean, but when I was a kid we used to try to take a small potato in the back of our mouth and then pretending to talk Danish. This is common knowledge for everyone, perhaps except the Danes themselves. Because if they knew, one would think they would change their speaking habits. But no, they keep saying “røget ørred fra Rødovre” or as they would pronounce it: “Rø rørø fø rørørø”.

Please Danes, don’t you see that this reflects badly on the rest of us in Scandinavia. With your counting in snes and when I, out of habit say “good bye” (hade bra) to the guy behind the counter in the store, he replies “thanks..umh.. likewise”. You don’t understand what I mean if I don’t use your type of good bye. And people, the Danish way to say good bye translate directly to “hi hi”. Double negative is positive or something? What?

You can’t even understand yourself. Danish media announced that films spoken in Danish will be subtitled with Danish text because Danish actors mumbles too much. If you don’t understand what I mean watch this Norwegian sketch on the subject.

Although, I have heard that there is some advantages with this “special” language. As my friend Jorg told me: “According to legend, in Denmark during World War II, border guards would screen homecoming Danes by making them say aloud the name of the Danish dessert rødgrød med fløde—berry pudding with cream. (To approximate the sound of these words, say them while gargling and whistling.) Apparently, even the craftiest Danish-seeming German infiltrator could not pass this simple test. The Danish ear recognized its own.”

Fortunately, to my grandmothers disapproval, I am taking a Danish course in January and perhaps then I will see the beauty of your language, sweet Danes.

Ps. Sorry if you got kränkt.

stop-talking

Special bond

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I’ve read a lot of Scandinavia and the world comics lately. I think the writer has really hit something right on the spot. I love how she describes the relationship between Norway and Denmark. They are like best friends, lovers and brothers at the same time (that didn’t sound right). I feel like Norwegians and Danes are a bit like that. No offence Sweden, I like you a lot, but there’s just something special about the bond Norway and Denmark possesses.

I don’t know why though. Can anyone tell me?

I-want-you-to-be-happy

Hello..

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NorwayI’m Tyra, nice to meet you.

So what is interesting in your life right now? Oh, I don’t know… nothing much… you know just… MOVING TO DENMARK!
Yeah baby, out in the world. Almost moving out of Scandinavia. Well, not really, but Denmark and Norway is much more different than people think. Not to mention their very weird and nonlogical language.

I have been blogging for a long time now (www.secretmoose.wordpress.com) and I felt it was time for some changes. I’m not only changing my life, but also my blog. Since the summer of 2010 i have been writing about my life, things that interest and/or annoys me and general stuff at my blog “The Secret Life of Moose’s”. I have mostly written in Norwegian and quite personally. Hence, not really an interesting blog if you don’t know me..

It’s time to make a change (yes that song is stuck to my brain now). This is going to be an international, informative and trying-to-be-funny blog about my everyday struggle with the Danish culture. I want to highlight the strange situations and difficulties a Norwegian must face when moving to Denmark.

Well then, enjoy.